It’s dark and I am alone. But I don’t feel alone, there is a presence…I attempt to move towards it. I can’t…my body doesn’t seem to respond to my command. Odd. I am lying on my back, I try to roll onto my side. Still I cannot move. What is that presence? Who’s there? It’s becoming more than a curiosity, turning into urgency. This must be a dream…where am I? Too many shadows and my head, like my body, is frozen in place. It’s coming closer, ominous, a definite danger. I need to move…my fingers, my toes, my eyes, nothing moves. But I see. I’m in my room..this is real. I need to escape, something terrible is going to happen. I try to speak…nothing. I struggle harder, hoping that some part of my body will respond so I can break the spell. An unhuman noise..but it came from me. Finally something. I’m almost out, but I must hurry. There is no time left. My head turns, dizziness. I seem to escape, but slip backwards. Ah, my fingers move, then my hand, my arm, control rushes back. I’m concious and can move again, but barely. I’m on the edge. If I return to sleep now, I’ll fall back into that torturous state. I must get up, walk, have a glass of water. It’s been nearly thirty minutes since I went to sleep, but I feel as if I’ve been awake the whole time.
And in a way, I was. It’s something that has become very familiar too me over time, a condition known as sleep paralysis. Caught between the real world and the dream world, I had become concious during REM sleep, a time in which the body is supposed to be paralyzed to prevent harm. As far as I can remember, I have been affected by this my whole life, but only since a few years ago have I understood it to be more than just a simple nightmare. It was terrifying as a child, and even now it is still frightening despite being lucid during every episode. Recently it has become quite bad, happening nearly every night. All I want to do is escape peacefully into the dreamless darkness of undisturbed sleep. It is only there that my mind can truly rest its weary synapses.